205 Days Sober

I don't want to fall again.  I had a spurt of a year and a half a couple years ago, and the longest spurt of being sober was for 10 years.  If I could fall after 10 years, after a year and a half, I could fall now.  I've had some days when I was tempted.  I made it through.  I've been feeling alone lately.  I don't fit in at church.  I hate sitting alone.  I'm not sure how to relate to those around me.  I don't always fit in at work.  No, I fit in at work.  It's the "hanging out" with coworkers when not at work.  That's where I don't fit in.  I'm Mormon, I'm different.  I can't do social stuff because I want to live the gospel.  But, I don't fit in at church either.  So frustrating.  Last Sunday, I just hoped someone would come talk to me.  I know I need to make an effort as well.  I need to try to be a friend.  I've been doing my visiting teaching.  But, I haven't been visit taught in almost 2 years.  I wish someone would ask me how I'm doing with my scripture reading, with my personal prayers.   I was doing great at reading the scriptures (I need to be more diligent).  I have read about the importance of dailies in staying sober.  But, I wish I had someone else to be accountable to other than myself and the Lord.  If you home teach or visit teach, ask.  The gospel is true, I guess that's all that really matters.  Good things have happened too.  I was able to return to the temple.  I made progress in family history.  I've been better at gospel study then I had in years.  I have more confidence in approaching Heavenly Father.  One day at a time I guess.