Monday, May 26, 2014

What to do?

"Scripture power, keeps me safe from sin.  Scripture power is the power to win.  Scripture power, every day I need, the power that I get each time I read."  I got really busy with school at the end of the semester.  I had been doing well with scripture study and then around that time, I stopped.  It's really just an excuse, being busy with school.  The problem is, I didn't start reading again.  I've also been going to the casino and gambling (not very often).  I go because I get bored.  Not good combinations because it drives away the spirit.  So, the temptations come.

Two weeks ago, I had a slip with masturbation.  Then again today.  I don't even know what to do.  I feel like I should feel worse.  It doesn't help that I don't like going to church.  I know the church is true, I just hate going.  This isn't recent and I've felt this way for awhile (even when I'm doing everything that I should and I feel the spirit-I still don't enjoy going to church on Sundays).  I just feel like my life has no direction.  I've been blessed in my life with educational and other opportunities.  I don't lack for my physical needs.  I'm healthy, I have a good job…I just feel like I have no direction.  It's not that I don't have goals for my life.

I have goals and I work towards them.  But in the end, I feel like I'm lacking in an area that I feel I have little control over…having an eternal family of my own.  I feel so frustrated.  I was going to talk to my bishop and I was willing to, but I felt that it was okay not to.  Now, I don't know.  I'm not sure how he can help me.  Even when I'm doing everything that I need to do, I still feel this frustration and I feel alone.  So, I'm trying to figure out what to do.  I know that I need to pray.  I know that I need to stay away from gambling as it's a huge trigger for me.  And I know that I need the power that the scriptures can offer.                

2 comments:

  1. One thing that I kept getting caught up on was doing recovery my way. It was easy for me not to confess everything to my wife or the bishop or attend meetings regularly, because I felt like I could do it without all of that, but the more I acted out, the more I realized that I needed to do things the Lord's way if I wanted to succeed--and I've found much more success since then. Not perfection, but I'm moving more toward real recovery than I ever have been.

    Sometimes I don't think going to group will help me--and sometimes it doesn't. But driving home, I always know that I'm making the sacrifice of my time and my will to do things God's way, and I know He's happy about that. You're making progress by writing this stuff down and showing you have the desire to fight this. Just keep on keepin' on :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks admin for this wonderful post, full of ideas about "IV Hangover La Quinta CA". The post is written in very a good manner and it entails many useful information for me. I appreciated what you have done here.

    ReplyDelete